Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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