I puked a lego.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
