Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
