i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
