You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Never joke about your clitoris.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
