All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
