Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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