She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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