chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
