before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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