i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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