why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
