we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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