I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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