how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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