i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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