is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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