Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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