You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
