Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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