If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
