He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
