yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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