we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
