i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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