this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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