weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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