Fuck appropriateness.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
