we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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