There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize