Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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