1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
