Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
