She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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