just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
