Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
