went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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