so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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