I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That accounts for only three of the penises
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
