I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
