Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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