Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
