Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
