My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
