Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
