is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
