When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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