i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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