I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
