sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Someone shit on the floor
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
