there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
